the happy place

I'm so happy right now!  I don't know, I just have this peace and joy.  Yet I can't sleep with anxiousness (positive) and thoughts racing through my head of everything to be done!  Like I wake up so early and my mind just goes to the rabbit hole... Last night it was so bad I had to take a Mr. Z which I hate and then have counterproductive anxiety about taking anxiety medication...wtf?  But if I look inside I am so happy and thrilled with life right now!  It's so strange.  I think I just have so much on my mind that it is tough to calm down.  Between work which is going really well and I am truly thankful in this moment for the set up of independence that I have (setting all office political issues aside), Pilates, the house, trying to keep on top of food prep/eating healthy, getting my own workouts, being a good wife/daughter/friend etc... (and all not in THAT ORDER!).....it's a lot. But I wouldn't have it any other way because these are all such wonderful fun things.


I am really obsessed with my Pilates.... starting "officially" to teach tomorrow...it happened so much faster and, honestly, easier than I ever thought.  I mean, it's not easy by any means... now I have to find clients that are willing to pay real money to take private or group sessions!  Oh well, a new challenge.

Work on the house has been fun.  Baz has made incredible progress with the demo, and he is so happy to have the project and enjoys it, which is fun and great.  I love him, I don't know how I managed to get a guy like this...I guess I kissed A LOT of frogs first.  When I look back and think about the idiots that I could have/wanted to end up with (A), it is truly frightening.  Now I know why parents say they won't let their daughters date until they are 30!  Mine will be 40!

On that front, aunt flo still hasn't showed back up.  It is becoming a sort of undercurrent in my life and thank God I am so busy I don't have time to dwell on it.  And for some reason I feel this weird guilt thing when I think, you know what, now isn't a good time anyway. So maybe my bod knows that and is just going with the flow.  I know that's probably not a good scientific explanation, but again, I don't have time to worry about it.

My mom was here this week on her way to Pittsburgh; we had a fun 36 hours of showing her our new house, Pilates apparatus class, our traditional Belgian bakery, Macy's, Nordstrom, every other shop on Michigan, Eataly, and BYOB dinner at a Thai place.  It was really great to be with her; I've had my issues in the past and I feel like just taking a positive approach and realizing how precious little time we have in life has helped me a lot to get past my b.s. with mom issues.  However stuff still creeps up and I still want therapy LOL...that was another 2016 goal I haven't dealt with yet, le sigh.

Countdown to France has begun!  This time next week we will be on our way.  As usual, the work-stress involved in taking such time off is so challenging!  As opposed to Asia, I supposed I will be "reachable" so I am trying to strike the right balance of being around to deal with my clients and just enjoying life.

That's getting interesting; I want to make sure these guys stay "my" clients, but when a more senior person has the technical knowledge...sometimes I feel I am being "pushed out" on that front -- like it is easier for them to just do the work rather than have me do a draft and then have to correct it.  I hope we get another deal soon so I can put my foot down and say I AM GOING TO DO THIS ONE!

Ok, let's start this day with some hot yoga!

February 6, 2012

I just read a post from this date where I said I was thinking about getting my Pilates certification!  How funny that almost four years to the day was the first day of my training class!  I love it!

I am also a little heartbroken that I have less than half of a "year in review" post saved in my drafts for 2009.  It stops at April, which is right before I met my hubby, or actually the month that I met him the first time!  I talk about how I am going to come back to it, but I don't.  It is really interesting to read my state of mind that first few months of that year before graduating law school and embarking on "life"....so free, careless, yet apprehensive and wanting all those trappings of adult life at the same time... talking about being sad on New Years' and hoping against hope the next year would bring "good things"... obviously the man of my dreams is what I meant...and it did!  Amazing.  I am going to go check my old blog, maybe I finished off the post there but that wouldn't really make sense.

Good things come in threes?

I know they say bad things come in threes, but thankfully good things do too ...even in fours and fives!  :)

I have to say, Thursday was such a wonderful day.  It was our fourth wedding anniversary.  I was feeling stressed about an email I got from my Pilates teacher about how the program is going to work out, charging clients etc.  I went to a spin class and on my way out, the manager of that gym basically offered me a job teaching part time.  What could make me happier?  It was funny, because I had just reminded myself that morning to "go with the flow"...the right doors will open when they do.  Then, we got a new file from my new client -- a good one!  It was a great day.
then, yesterday, April 29, 2016 we closed on our new home!
It has been quite a week.  We spent last weekend in Sonoma with both of our sets of parents for the Dry Creek Valley Wine Festival and rented a lovely home on a vineyard.  It was a really great time....we had lots of laughs watching political comedy skits, eating and drinking together, playing celebrity, and even being hungover together haha.  It was a really fantastic weekend and we agreed it was even better for our parents than for us!  I think we were a bit nervous going into it with significant political and religious differences, but fortunately everyone hates the current political situation and the religion thing only came up one night late when everyone was drunk...and was quickly squashed.  My dad is so cute... my mom starts getting into and he's jus like....June, don't.  My mom is a little lush!  It's cute...she's like me, just likes to drink fast not to get drunk but because tastes good and next thing you know, wasted!
We are doing a major gut rehab of the house which is really exciting.  I think Baz is more excited than me, but it is fun to see him have a project and be excited about something.  It's going to be stressful, but I keep trying to tell myself that he has a nice, established record with our condo and I have to stay out of the way.
Fourth anniversary is fruit and flowers... Baz created this amazing fruit and flower box and stuck a gorgeous Shinola watch in there... watches hand made in Detroit with a cool shop in our neighborhood.  Very special.  I got him boxers and swim trunks with fruit on them - ridiculous - and flowered lingerie and a golf bag.  It's always fun to come up with the traditional gifts.

Work is so so.  The big boss is really starting to get on my nerves.  They owe me like $7K in expenses and unpaid 401K contributions.  It is starting to stress me out.  I want to get an exit strategy, but everything is going so well with my new big client that I feel I can't rock the boat right now.  I do feel a little trapped, but at the same time I am thankful for a legal job that allows me the freedom to teach Pilates on the side and do other things that I love with very little supervision.  It has been interesting working with a senior attorney on a client that is mine -- she has obviously WAY more technical knowledge than I, but the client is mine.  I need her 100% to do the work.  So, it's not like I can just take the client and go to another firm.  I would need to find another "her and team and it is next to impossible to know what you are walking into until you do it.  I am going to meet with an attorney friend this week and just get his perspective.  I don't want to, say, look a gift horse in the mouth, but I also don't want to sit back while my career rolls past me and I am blindly allowing my firm to steal from me...credit and otherwise.  But it all goes back to the firm having 100% supported the development of this client, paying for everything, giving me the time to tons of marketing with/for them, etc. etc.  So, I am not going anywhere, but i want to keep my eyes open as well.  In any case, hopefully I can make some decent side money teaching Pilates!  (And flipping houses LOL)!

Bliss

End of the first quarter of 2016!  Crazy... at lot has transpired and of course I become so bogged down (in a good way) with life that I forget to record it.

We are under contract on a two-flat and moving forward.  Should close in a few more weeks and then start a major construction project... the  numbers are scary but I trust my husband to manage it and we are really excited about the possibilities... having a rental/MIL unit or even doing Air BNB and seeing how the neighborhood (Avondale) is changing and growing yet still charming and ethnic and old.

Pilates -- i am OBSESSED.  I am absolutely so happy that I signed up for the class.  I met one really great gal in particular and friendly with others... it is so amazing to have access to studios all over the city to train friends and practice myself... I am surprised somewhat to find that I love teaching nearly as much as I love practicing so it has been really great.  i'm just going with the flow as to where it leads... they have not been totally clear about what will happen when the class is over, but I am hoping that maybe I can train in exchange for unlimited access to the studios, or whatever.  Everyone asks if I want to open my own studio... yes... maybe... I'm just going with the flow and will see what doors open and opportunities present themselves.  right now I am just really happy with it and enjoying learning and having a fun, productive, social yet personal hobby.

Work is good...we had a good quarter and things seem to be on an upswing with my bank client. Deals are trickling in and hopefully we will get more after a presentation we are doing this week.

I was asked to join the board of a networking group that I am in and am strongly considering it... just keep on keeping on...can't stop won't stop I guess!  life is really exciting right now with lots of fun things happening.  feeling extremely blessed and fulfilled.

In three weeks we go to Sonoma/Dry Creek Valley with both sets of parents for a wine festival which should just be incredible and entertaining.

My goal for next year, maybe 2018, will be to get real estate license.  I can't believe I never set true goals in my younger years...that practice has changed my life.

xoxoxoxoxo

Day 30!

Day 30 of the "cleanse" -- minus 4 days in Miami last week with a couple of gluttonous steak/pizza type meals and reasonable amounts of alcohol -- surrounded by old friends, sunny and warm environs, a wedding, our hold favorite haunts, it was just a necessary but fun evil.  Otherwise we have been very good.  I feel good.  I feel lighter somehow.  like I don't get that heavy gross feeling in my stomach after I eat.  I still feel like sometimes portions are an issue, I want to keep going back, but I am trying to be very aware of that.  Workouts have been good.  Took my first pilates class with the instructor that will be teaching the course last week.  She seems like she has a good personality and will be a good teacher, I am really looking forward to that which starts next week.  Been trying to do some stuff at the gym on my own and it just feels great, I am so motivated and excited.  having brunch with a girlfriend and her friend that are interested in opening a Pilates studio...where ideas are born!

Work really picked up last week.  I got our first file (with tremendous help from F and A) from PB which was a really amazing feeling.  I have really worked hard for that over the past six months and it has, like, been my baby.  Finally, finally it is happening and it makes me feel good about my career choice and how things are going.  But it was a crazy busy week.  Had a really good result for one of my clients, as well, so all positive.  Did I meet my goal of two new clients/matters in January?  I guess not technically but the PB one sort of counts (and it is potentially a HUGE one) even though we haven't actually done the work yet, and I have to say, I had at least 3-5 leads and just none of them came to fruition.  OH well, good thing there are 11 more months in the year!

Otherwise feeling good.  We are narrowing in on buying a house... a two-flat that needs LOTS of TLC...but going to meet with our contractor at the property tomorrow and see what we can do with it and if it is worth going forward.  We are debating between keeping it a two-flat and single family; single family mortgage would be about $3K per month... just a lot to choke down.... we could afford it, but there goes our mad money and travel budget.  Two flat configuration just isn't what we had in mind and lots of zoning headache to get that changed.

Exciting stuff though!

and then you have a bitchy moment

I've been feeling really good -- positive, motivated, driven, focused (yay for New Years' resolutions), eating healthy, staying strong on the 30 days booze free, energetic, working out, etc....then, come home and snap on my poor hubby for not putting the dishes in the dishwasher.  Granted, it was kind of a long day at work, it took me forever to get home, but there is no excuse.  BUT I have asked him multiple multiple multiple times to deal with the dishes please before I come home as the last thing I can stand in the evening (right before I have to cook again) is a pile of crap.  Obviously I have some delivery issues and we have hashed this out before but there are just some things that really drive me nuts!

So, while I'm sure there have been others, this was my first significant eff-up for 2016.  But who's counting.  Fortunately, we get a fresh start with each breath, no?

Other than that, I registered for my pilates teacher training and CANNOT WAIT to get going with that and see what doors and possibilities it opens.  Work has been fun - we got new software and hired a social media person.  So aside from the usual work b.s. (and the "borrowing" of funds from my 401k) it's just been great actually.  It's truly the little things.  And it's Friday tomorrow.

So I sort of resolved to write each day because I thought I would really be struggling with the diet.  It's not too bad.  I don't miss meat and I have been having fun experimenting with vegan recipes.  I had half of a suspiciously non-diet desert at a luncheon yesterday and a roll that probably definitely had butter, but otherwise I've been ok this week.  I think my hubs is a little over the repetition of beans, but I think he's losing weight so one can't complain too much!  I'm proud of him... he's been working out and really eating well so that makes me happy.  The no booze is sort of hard socially but we've just been avoiding social situations lol.  It's boring in a way, but it is also cold AF outside so kind of nice just to hibernate and have an excuse to stay home.  Weekends are tough especially but, we got this.

I'm making a lentil-walnut loaf at the moment...yeah... there's that to look forward to.

Trying to talk myself off the ledge.  I just took a look at my retirement account and realized my employer did not fund a good portion of my account until near the end of the year.  I don’t want to dwell on this but I need to think of how to approach it and how to make sure it stops happening without compromising anything else.  It’s just so frustrating because it’s not even one of those things that makes me want to walk away, because things are otherwise good… ugh.

On to the four-hour work week’s next exercise.  Also, I woke up with an epiphany of sorts on Thursday morning…which I think was a day or two after I did the last exercise…don’t want to put too much weight on that but the correlation is interesting and somewhat undeniable.  I have been working my mind around needing/wanting a hobby…sometimes when I come home or on weekends I just feel sort of bored… like, this weird emptiness of, ok, another night in front of the TV…which don’t get me wrong…nothing I love more than a good glass of wine and night of Dateline with my hunny… but you know.  Anyway, I’ve done Pilates on and off for years and always wanted to get certified…just never had the right timing to do it in Miami and have not found a studio here that I am crazy about.  So anyway, I just decided that I am going to do it this year.  After a couple of days of research online I found a program that I am happy with and will sign up this week (after my CC cycle starts over LOL)….and maybe one day I will have my own studio.  My goal right now is just to get through the certification and see what doors open. I  just feel like it is meant to be.  The program I found coordinates nicely with almost all of the weekends we have free this year and it’s near to where we live.  Starts February 5 and I could not be more excited.

SO, with that in mind, it is helpful to have the focus of something while reading and working through this book.  Again, I don’t see myself quitting law altogether and teaching Pilates, but a tiny part of my soul does see that.  A cute little studio in Avondale called [myname’s Pilates].   Lofty and light and I really see myself more behind the scenes than instruction, but whatever.  I just see it somehow.  Or not, still a great thing to know and be able to do oneself. 

What would you do if there were no way you could fail and were 10 times smarter than the rest of the world?

Open my studio and law office and be done with it. 

6 month timeline:

Dream of having:

·      2-Flat House for rehab

·      A 15K raise

·      12 new clients

·      5K per month in income from own clients

·      Help – associate or admin?  Someone to do personal b.s.

Dream of being:

·      halfway through Pilates training (225 hours)

·      Respected among peers

·      Working less hours – 20-30 p/week

Dream of doing:

·      A couple of 5ks

·      Completing wedding photo album!

·      Preplanned trips – Bahamas, Sonoma

·      A headstand

·      1 pull-up

12 month timeline:

Dream of having:

·      2 Flat nearly complete

·      End of year bonus commensurate with efforts

·      24 new work clients

·      3 Pilates clients

·      significant PB work

Dream of being:

·      nearly done with Pilates training

·      Contemplating being able to open own office?  Or just work independently. 

Dream of doing:

·      Planning Nepal trip for 2017

·      The splits

·      5 pull-ups