The Game of Life

Remember it? From your youth? Well...this awesome bar near my place offers it in all it's charicatured glory for patrons to enjoy. Me and roomie bet the bouncer the other night when he was working at a club and decided to try out a new spot...played a few rounds of backgammon and then went on to Life once Iceland (guy friend) got there.

It was so strange to play it as an "adult"...the object of the game is to retire with the most money...you start out with the option to go to college or try and score a high paying job without. You are guaranteed at least 40k (teacher) and the potential for advancement if you go the college route. But the caveat is the 100K student loan debt. How much more can I relate to this decision making process than I could at age 12? I remember my mom ALWAYS took the college route and encouraged me to do so, too. In college, you do things like "Spring Break in Florida" for 5k (!!!) and miss a turn for exams. Then comes post-college...engagement, marriage, buying a house. Then babies, the opportunity to go back to school OR have a baby (guess which i chose?), upgrades on the house and car, vacations, private school and college for the kids, more vacations and "dreams" like sponsoring an art show or having a family portrait painted. Amusingly, along the way, are opportunities to sue another player for $100k. Sometimes you win, sometimes they have a card that exempts them. You get to the end, maybe have grandkids, and retire. he with the most toys wins.

What a clever game.

Even crazier -- the fact that I just stumbled across a holiday photo album of three girls that I went to SECOND GRADE WITH on facebook. amazing that I remember this. One of them actually goes/went to my current school and lived within a mile of me...I lied to our teacher in second grade and said that I knew where she lived and would take her homework over when she was sick. I did not, in fact, know where she lived. Now she is on facebook drinking beer.

its a beautiful life

oh ohoh...cue Ace of Base. Why is MLK weekend always so much fun? Last night went to Seggafredo and Set...started talking to some random, ended up having him pay for our cab ride home, got in my bed, he slept on the floor, I woke up and the apartment was trashed and there was food everywhere and he was gone...my camera is MIA too. there were tons of cute guys out last night and it was just a really fun, random night as they have been lately. I'm in a good mindset for it. I know how I get...go really hard for awhile, wear out, get depressed, chill. repeat.

i feel like every weekend of the semester is already taken up with something...its just coming and going so fast and then there is graduation and Bar study -- YUCK!!!!

le sigh. time for yoga.

Leaving law school, joining the circus

Roomie and I just went to Ringling Bros. circus. It was awesome, and left me wondering what kind of person decides to up and join the circus, how the heck they transport all the animals and equipment, where the creativity and inspiration for such an amazing production comes from, the history of circuses in general, and how it all comes together.

The animals are incredible...elephants, tigers, dogs, white ponies, the black stallion....the costumes are beautiful...again, I wonder where the inspiration comes from...i think my favorite is the trapeze or the contortionists...makes me definitely want to hit up yoga tomorrow...

this all follows an amazing South Beach night...I had dinner at the new Morgans hotel at Asia de Cuba...great food, better people watching. Then we went to China Grill for some drinks and the new Fountainbleu for dancing...we were bored and deciding against spending 15 a pop on drinks and walking out the door when some guy offered us his bottle and table since he was leaving. the night just got so much better -- somewhere to sit, our own space, and free drinks! We chatted with the guy and his friends for a bit and then they left...we wandered around dancing, etc. I met a hot brazillian soccer player and danced with him...saw a big group of Workie's friends and one of them very nearly crossing the line with a girl not his girlfriend. Not to judge, but he always seemed like such a sweet, innocent guy and to see that happening was a reality check that you are the company you keep. BUt of course it was the club and everyone was wasted...but THEN when I was talking him he kept grabbing my ass. I was quite shocked. I tried to get info about Workie out of him since he was so obliterated, but to no avail.

We left the club and roomie and i randomly started talking to some guys who said they were from Switzerland...we decided to join them for breakfast and get advice about life from someone who's been there. They were cool -- I love meeting people like that and ahving random, fun conversations. I think they got wierded out by one of our friens who happened to be at the same restaurant and was being obnoxious towards us...they split and we finally rolled home around 7 am. ridiculous...old enough to know better, but still too young to care :)

so much to do

so little time. shaping up to be a busy weekend... my first ENGAGEMENT PARTY...friends who just got engaged after 3.5 months of dating....when it's love, it's love, and my relationships tend to fizzle about that time. But WOW. that's just craziness. What's the rush? Anyway so there's that...then some other party downtown...Friday night dinner at Asia de Cuba and Saturday open at this point...either Shakespeare in the Park and/or the circus (yeahhaaahh) and Sunday dinner party or Shakespeare.

I felt like a housewife today. Had coffee with Mich, lunch with work friends, cleaned house, went to yoga, and generally had a great day. Now I am antsy to go out but wtf I guess I have no one to go out with AND i know I should save energy and sanity for the weekend which promises to be busy.

School? yeah...still trying to figure out my schedule but shaping up to be cool...

Went to Tobacco Road today...hands down the BEST pulled pork sandwich in Miami. Amazing. Sketchy, seedy, wooden, stale, busy, ancient and amazing.

first day of the last semester of law school

bummer...i guess....i am relishing every day...sleeping til 9 30, working out for an hour and a half, cooking nice meals for myself, painting, reading, golfing, beaching...yes, this is law school. i DO like structure and i enjoyed working...but this is the last five months of my life of this greatness, and i am seizing every day.

i just spent

an hour discussing my bar trip....over wine and mole...with my madre. I want to do Thailand. I want to sit on a beach, ride an elephant, I want to experience the far east. I want to lay in a hammock, watch the waves crash, get $20 happy ending specials, and look forward to the rest of my life as a lawyer.

I'm having issues about the companionship. While we are talking, I'm watching marijuana references on family guy and become torn between spending 2-3 amazing weeks experiencing my mother vs. 2-3 amazing weeks experiencing my friends and/or my self, and the different worlds that those involve. They can be polar opposite at times, but i know who and what is truly there for me.

I have felt so good being at home. I am loved, I am not judged. Even though the Hawaii trip with Mr. D has fallen through, I came clean with my parents. Rather than ranting and raving at me, my mom dug through her closet to find beach clothes that I could wear. I have spent the last 4-5 years thinking they would ex-communicate me if they knew that a (now 42) year old man was a recipient of my affections.

The same with S... I saw him and even though I broke up with him all those years ago, it felt so comfortable and so normal and so "college" to be with him. I wasn't shy...I was myself...

So basically I don't know what all of these circumstances are telling me...(oh, and not to mention the compelling read "Of Human Bondage" and all the thoughts it has stirring...thanks for the reference Paradox)...Life is so ugly and it is so beautiful all at once...when you realize how vulgar and terrible it is and how many layers lie before you...how low you can get and how impossible it seems...then something beautiful comes up and suprises you....freshly fallen snow or a raging fire in the fireplace or the look of an old friend...when the idealism of youth wears off and you are left standing with things that matter...when you realize that honesty is the best policy and produces the best dividends....when you realize there are some things about yourself that will never change...when you realize that at the end of the day you have no one else to answer to but yourself...when you realize that people around you feel the same ways that you do...but that is so hard to believe or accept...when you realize the beautiful paths that are placed before you...

sigh...this may be the first year it is hard for me to leave home. i am truly excited to be back in the sun and on the beach...but this has been an incredible, introspective trip home to the deep Southwest This was a great read....amazing how the human tradition trancends generations.

yay!

I just registered for a Spanish class for the semester. Great resume builder, a good excuse for more travel to Spanish countries, something great for my self, and an embrace of my local culture!

Recap

Some years I make them, some years I don't. Whether I make them or not, there are few that I have kept. I hesitate to even look at last years' so as not to disappoint myself but I suppose I should.

I always like to do a re-cap of the previous year...what happened...explore how things changed for me.

January: I feel like I was very strong this month. I went through a break up at the end of 2007, so a new start in 2008 was amazing timing and I felt great...I had my health back...I owned my life, 2L year was good as far as grades go, and I was back on the Mr. A high. (remembered how I felt about seeing him New Years 08 from reading my old blog from then just now...) Chili cook-off was in January too...always a great time. Went to New York for Roomie reunion 2008...

February: Was another good month. There was Daytona 500, probably being depressed on Valentine's day, ran into Lawyer at the Pink Party..kicked him in the shin...got it out...went full circle on that train ride.

March: Went to Berlin and Prague...amazing. There was winter music conference... days in the pool with Lawyer...school...tax...

April: summed up by Barristers Ball and the dream/nightmare of C and Key West that followed for a month or so after and resulted in one of the (so far) most influential and educational and traumatic experiences of my life.

May: Always defined by exams...this time also by a violent, heart-wrentching break-up and wasted vacation. Started my job at The Firm...got my first taste of that whole (beautiful) world.

June: Working...meeting work guy...L.A. for the wedding and seeing A. Some talking to Joe...meeting people outside of law school...wait, there IS life out there!....concerts

July: Working...trip to D.C. which confused me more than anything else that resulted from it...more work guy and Joe...slipping into that comfort....concerts...Brooks and Dunn...amazing....

August: Started amazingly with the retreat...sigh...those were happy days...rolling in the sheets, talking, being so sure and unsure of the future all at once...

September: Again, defined by an amazing trip. Peru!

October: Turning 25. I swear, this happened and I hit an awful downturn for the next few months. I think some other factors (absence of Workie) contributed...but whatever...mom's visit...

November: going through the motions by this point....Wine country -- awesome and amzing but bittersweet wake-up call of my ability to convince myself of something that is not. Pre-exam period sucks...Home for Thanksgiving... always nice...

December: day in day out in the library, then straight home. Phoenix with the parents, awesome Christmas...and Vegas for New Years...

2008 was a good year...I feel like there were two or three periods of ecstacy, followed by periods of devastating low-ness. Fortunately for me, 2009 has started on a high note and I feel great, after the past few months of being down in the dumps. This year is a huge one for me in terms of professional change and development...i KNOW that I am at a great place in my life and I am excited to see what the year has to offer.

Oh

my goodness. Mr. D just invited me to Hawaii.

What a great start to a new year...If I'm gonna be single, I'm going to enjoy it!

Like it's 2009...

2009 will always be the year I graduated law school...I need to do a year re-cap...NYE was fun...more on that later. In typical fashion wore ourselves out on the 30th...went to this new place Lavo for dinner...Michael Phelps was in attendance...he seemed like a fish out of water...no pun intended...we kind of felt bad for him because it just seemed like a bunch of groupies tagging along with him. Anyway then we went to the club upstairs...total madness and lots of funny antics...including underage celebrities, shots, being asked to leave the club, eating at Grand Luxe like the old days, near-miss fights, etc...typical Vegas madness...I felt like a college girl again, ha. Woke up in my friend's boss's room at the Venetian...that girl sure hooks it up.

I also saw the ex, S...we'd had dinner the first night and not gonna lie...I wanted some loving and there is nothing like the familiar...We hadn't spoken in probably over a year and I was not sure what to expect. But when things went well and I remembered why I once-upon-a-time liked him, we caught up the next day and hung out after I had lunch with my old boss. That was fun too...seems like he is doing really well, and I am happy to know that offer is still on the table. We had margaritas and fish tacos, just like the old days. He sent me an old INXS album that he says reminds me of him. I was hurting a bit (ok, a lot) from the night before but hopefully managed to form sentences and not sound or act like a complete lush. Anyway hanging with S was good...of course I go over in my head, wondering why we DID break up...or why I broke up with him...but its nice in the kind of situation we are in now...no pressure or whatever, so we were honest with eachother about all of the things that were wrong with our relationship and what is up with us now in life...I invited him to come visit if he wants...why not right?

Like I said, everyone was pooped on New Year's eve...it was tough to rage but we had some champagne, got ready at the Venetian with the girls and somehow made it until midnight...saw Fergie perform...not impressed...danced...laughed...loved...saw this HOT cop that I used to be obsessed with watching at the gym...told him so...oops. At the end of the night we went to eat breakfast and ran into more people randomly that I knew from back in the day...crashed out back in the gorgeous suite...woke up and spent the day hurting on D's mom's couch haha. I watched Dude Where's My Car...hilarious. Got on the plane last night...spent the evening with Jess and woke up to watch old church camp videos and look at pictures from childhood with her. Good times...

I'm so exhausted...running on very little sleep...glad to be home with my parents some more...but anxious to get back to my routine at home home. Happy New Year everyone!