being in vegas is so wierd

I don't think I can have a normal Vegas experience...having lived here for four years (and LIVING every second of it) coming here as a tourist and especially as a work-tourist is crazy. 

Here for a real estate conference which has been fantastic... met this chick last week at our work happy hour who invited me to come with her and friends for a Sun-Tues stretch of Vegas networking...Boss man said go for it so I booked a 48 hour trip.  Things that have happened since I landed at 10 a.m. on Sunday:

• PG got me great room at Vdara.
• Cranked out SJB motion on plane.
• Met "John" at pool and basically just wanted someone to talk to so went for it and stupidly gave him my cell because I thought the girls I was hanging with would want to meet dudes.  So stupid and just dumb.  but whatever....free mimosa...wait...but then he continued to text me throughout the weekend and sent me a really creepy text about my "aura"
• Went to Bellagio to meet up with Katie and friends.  I am youngest of group but they remind me of me and my friends and are cool.  I think they are hungover, which is good, so none of us go too nuts.
• We go to a few work/networking parties and meet a lot of people that I need to follow up with.  Bond Bar and Clique at Cosmopolitan.
• Bed ....$35 quesadilla.
• Wake up
• Run
• Reserve spot at Vdara pool
• tan
• Go to lunch with D and P and F.
• Amazing
• Lago
• so good and real to be with my girl and catch up on our lives....just the best feeling in the world.  Like, catch me up on your life in 60 mins.
• Go back to Bellagio with pool with Katie and new bff N.
• Have drink to feel better and feel worse
• oh well...get in cold pool and deal
• Get ready for night two
• Meet up at Cosmo/Vaspar bar
• Veuve
• Walk into Beauty and Essex like a boss because of Flo's man.  Times your college tuition pays you back in very real ways....
• I wish I would have taken vegas more for what it was and what I had and ran with it.  Ohwell.
• Anyway...go to Marqueee...again, past all lines, for free, and drink tickets.
• party, drink, talk to people
• meet person who allegedly develops all trader joe's nationwide
• stay at club because you lived in vegas and have issues being anywhere except behind the private/velvet rope section
• walk through Cosmo and stop at craps table and meet person who owns grocery stores in Cincinnati.  Forget name.
• Feet hurt
• room...heat up quesadilla leftovers
• pass out

that's now...

xoxoxoxoxo.  what 48 hours ouch.

Reading May 2009 posts

Goodness... it has been seven years since law school graduation...I...just...can't.  That time in my life was so crazy and wonderful...I was just reading my posts about visiting with Cheprhan in the Hamptons, like a week before graduation.  Like, who does that?  Goes and stays with someone's mom...and his mom met a guy on Craigslist and he came to a bbq... i didn't remember that detail and I am so glad I wrote that post while I was there!  Incredible.

I don't know if I will look back on my early thirties with the same abplomb!  (Oh, we had the 9-5 grind and bought a house...whoopie!...as opposed to trailing around Costa Rica with my girlfriends and meeting men in bars and then traveling to see them at the house they live in with their mother)... but there is something so beautiful about our life right now and I remain sorry that I have not written more about the last seven years of our life together!  It is only memories.  Little references to my husband in our early dating years...long stretches of nothing except popping in to say "hi" and I'm happy.

Although we do still have an amazing life full of travel and little, daily adventures.  Just a good reminder of how precious every single moment is no matter where it happens.

These early morning weekend blog sessions get me so emotional!  Thank you lack of sleep.

I will add that even though I am not getting a period I totally feel these cyclical hormonal changes...like constant up and down but seems to be on some kind of cylcle.... a week or so of feeling totally bat shit crazy, angry, questioning everything, and then a week or whatever of total bliss and normalcy.  Insane.

the happy place

I'm so happy right now!  I don't know, I just have this peace and joy.  Yet I can't sleep with anxiousness (positive) and thoughts racing through my head of everything to be done!  Like I wake up so early and my mind just goes to the rabbit hole... Last night it was so bad I had to take a Mr. Z which I hate and then have counterproductive anxiety about taking anxiety medication...wtf?  But if I look inside I am so happy and thrilled with life right now!  It's so strange.  I think I just have so much on my mind that it is tough to calm down.  Between work which is going really well and I am truly thankful in this moment for the set up of independence that I have (setting all office political issues aside), Pilates, the house, trying to keep on top of food prep/eating healthy, getting my own workouts, being a good wife/daughter/friend etc... (and all not in THAT ORDER!).....it's a lot. But I wouldn't have it any other way because these are all such wonderful fun things.


I am really obsessed with my Pilates.... starting "officially" to teach tomorrow...it happened so much faster and, honestly, easier than I ever thought.  I mean, it's not easy by any means... now I have to find clients that are willing to pay real money to take private or group sessions!  Oh well, a new challenge.

Work on the house has been fun.  Baz has made incredible progress with the demo, and he is so happy to have the project and enjoys it, which is fun and great.  I love him, I don't know how I managed to get a guy like this...I guess I kissed A LOT of frogs first.  When I look back and think about the idiots that I could have/wanted to end up with (A), it is truly frightening.  Now I know why parents say they won't let their daughters date until they are 30!  Mine will be 40!

On that front, aunt flo still hasn't showed back up.  It is becoming a sort of undercurrent in my life and thank God I am so busy I don't have time to dwell on it.  And for some reason I feel this weird guilt thing when I think, you know what, now isn't a good time anyway. So maybe my bod knows that and is just going with the flow.  I know that's probably not a good scientific explanation, but again, I don't have time to worry about it.

My mom was here this week on her way to Pittsburgh; we had a fun 36 hours of showing her our new house, Pilates apparatus class, our traditional Belgian bakery, Macy's, Nordstrom, every other shop on Michigan, Eataly, and BYOB dinner at a Thai place.  It was really great to be with her; I've had my issues in the past and I feel like just taking a positive approach and realizing how precious little time we have in life has helped me a lot to get past my b.s. with mom issues.  However stuff still creeps up and I still want therapy LOL...that was another 2016 goal I haven't dealt with yet, le sigh.

Countdown to France has begun!  This time next week we will be on our way.  As usual, the work-stress involved in taking such time off is so challenging!  As opposed to Asia, I supposed I will be "reachable" so I am trying to strike the right balance of being around to deal with my clients and just enjoying life.

That's getting interesting; I want to make sure these guys stay "my" clients, but when a more senior person has the technical knowledge...sometimes I feel I am being "pushed out" on that front -- like it is easier for them to just do the work rather than have me do a draft and then have to correct it.  I hope we get another deal soon so I can put my foot down and say I AM GOING TO DO THIS ONE!

Ok, let's start this day with some hot yoga!