4pm

today...i decided that i am ready for retirement. my shoulders and eyes were aching, i wanted a beer. but the flip side is having nothing to do or lacking a challenge. i mean, i truly like my job...I'm interested in what I am doing. just the grind of 9-6 (and being SPENT at 4 but having to stay because of guilt and obligation) SUUUUCCCKKKKS....but it was my FIRST payday so that was super exciting and amazing. and then i had to turn around and pay off my bills. sweet. but i am just happy that i can pay them.

besides that, something else that i knew was inevitable happened...the phone call invitation from Work guy to happy hour. yup. and you KNOW i went. i thought of all these work-related reasons to go, but the reality is i wanted to and it raised as many questions as it answered.

B and I had a nice drunken conversation the other night about the future. him going back to school and how i don't want to be dating a student for the next 5 years. how he wants two kids, i want one. how we have this whole life planned all of a sudden, and i don't even know where i want to live 3 years from now. but somehow that also seemed to fit into his plan. but now in the haze of the week i don't even know. i love it here. i can't imagine leaving. so now i am questioning how much of my loving it and feeling content is from meeting HIM and him being my partner in crime lately. and WHY i still act this way with work guy. i wonder what he and Dam are talking about with Terrance right now.

i love life.