if i lived at home

i would probably eat myself to death. no reason NOT to dip that last piece of bread and turkey into gravy. yum. love it.

love being home for the holidays. it is even better when there is pretty white snow on the ground. no matter what ridiculous things are stressing me out at the moment, it is still Christmas, I am still home, and my parents are still here.

My last Christmas as a student...wow...eeeee...i think most people go through this crisis in college...i just extended mine a few years. what am i doing? am i even goign to be a good lawyer? what have i REALLY learned in the past few years? what have i accomplished? what can i still accomplish? have i made all the right decisions? stop having a quarter-life crisis. i'm ready for it to be gone any day now.

i sporadically get inspired with bouts of positivity about the future...and i love these moments and i know THEY are true and right. it's that whole in between part that is killing me sometimes. although i still recognize it is completely pathetic and misguided. i feel like i'm sort of digging out of a hole, and i'm digging and digging and someone just keeps pouring dirt on top ofme. i'm not giving up and i see the way out, but it is just unattainable at the moment. i mean i don't WANT any of the things that i think i want, RIGHT NOW. so CHILL.

pooo. anyway. Christmas rocks, about to lay my fat stomach under a down blanket and read "Of Human Bondage"...currently captivating me.