familia

after pigging out, we took out dad's 47 Ford tractor and took some family shots for the "New Year's" letter. I laid food-coma on the couch and passed in and out of sleep...ate some coconut cream pie and watched Ice Age...we played Monopoly...and I won for probably the first time ever. Maybe law school is paying off? I actually know what a mortgage and title deed are now, so that is exciting. basically ate myself silly today and plowed through my amazing book...life is good.

A called me and we talked for a good while...what a strange strange person and situation. But I still love the kid...I guess now it has just evolved into a sisterly love. I read this in my old blog about him, shortly before we re-connected last New Years:

"there is a lot of baggage that has come between but i'm excited for the opportunity just to live and experience whatever it is that is in store for me with him. i don't want or expect anything from him -- i would like him to be needy and desperate so i can be like, ha, joke's on you. but my MO is just to be the incredible, confident, sexy girl that i know is in there and have a blast. he needs to see what he's missing."

I'm so glad I read it......the journey this year has been another amazing one, with lots of ups and downs, but i've still got everything going for me and every reason to be that incredible, confident, sexy girl. i am disgusted that i would ever think anything less.

so enough boy whining. seriously. me and my little panic attacks about the future...i swear... then i have moments (like now) when i realize how incredibly ridiculous and distorted my perspective can get at times. I heard a cool quote the other day: A life lived in fear is a life half-lived. TRUE THAT.