i've had a beautiful week...i'm on cloud nine...i need this and love it so much. it all started with Winter Music Conference last Wednesday...the whole week was fun, but I am most excited about Saturday night...went to an industry house party with D and Pat and a couple other friends from school. Typical night...having fun...saw this beautiful guy. We made eye contact and I commented to them that he was amazing, but saw him with a girl I assumed was his girlfriend so I was bummed. Then I saw him later dancing and introduced myself, super shy, that I couldn't hold the conversation. Later I said some random stuff to him in passing. Then he came up to me while I was on the phone...then D and Pat snagged him, gave him my number, and made him promise to call me. I tried to rush off the phone because I could not imagine what they were saying to him...we spoke briefly but he was leavin (this is like 5 am) to catch a flight back to New York. He said he'd call, I told him basically to screw himself, he tried to kiss me, I told him in his dreams. He left and D and Pat told me how he was super nice and couldn't believe I acted that way to him. Then I felt like an idiot, but what could I do, he was gone.
About an hour later he walks back in the door. He did not come right over to me, so we all started scheming that he was some awful liar who made up that story to get away from me. Crazy. So we started to leave, he found me outside, asked to kiss me again, I told him I don't kiss random club guys, told him to call me the next day if he wanted to see me, etc. He had changed his flight. Besides Eyes and his friend were with us and the last thing I needed was school friends seeing me make out with a random dude at a party. So we left it like that, he texted me later, I fucked with him some more, never dreaming a guy that beautiful would be into me. Also a little drunk and just feeling the be mean vibe because I'm like who is this random dude trying to fool, he obviously is trying to get ass and forget it haha.
so next day he texts me like, I really want to see you. I'm thinking what am I possibly going to do with this random guy from New York all during the day in Miami, he had not slept, I had slept like 3 hours, but something in me just said go see him right now. So I came home at like 2pm, showered and went to his airport hotel to pick him up. I decided to take him to eat at one of my favorite local restaurants and just show him my Miami. Then if it was awkward I could easily escape and so could he.
The first few minutes in the car were like, what is this, what do we talk about. So I started asking him questions about himself, telling him random stuff, etc. I'm driving to little Havanna, thinking this guy is probably freaking the heck out like what am I getting into. We had lunch, croquetas and pork and yucca and black beans and rice...at this point i'm just trying to entertain some random person, kind of show off my city and just look at his amazing face.
we finished up lunch and walked out to the car. There was this sexy tension and I was nervous. We got close and slowly kissed. Super sexy. We giggled a little, he teased me for not kissing him in the club...I asked him what he wanted to do...knew he had to be tired running on zero sleep but did not want to put myself in the situation of being back in the hotel room on a bed yet.
So I drove him to the beach on Key Biscayne...it was a gray-blue day, with a breeze and lots of windsurfers on the water. We pulled over to watch and kissed against my car. He later told he was picturing a cheesey walk on the beach holding hands but that it was really cool what we did. i wouldn't have wanted the cheesey-ness either, but we were meshing great and wow what a great kisser. There was Spanish music playing in the background which set a cool scene. We talked a little, he suggested we "watch tv"...I told him I knew where he was going with that, but finally was so exhausted that I relented.
We drove back to his hotel and went up to the room. He played me this song that he wrote (he's a dj/record label owner for house/trance music....so perfect meeting for WMC)Some more talking and kissing...i told him pretty quickly where the boundaries were, but didn't elaborate too much...he was silly and playful but respectful. We layed there talking and looking at eachother, slept briefly and more making out. Around 1030, I decided I should leave, again trying to avoid a difficult or compromising situation of staying overnight. We tried to get dinner but the restaurant was closed...made out in the elevator, letting it take us to random floors and I went home.
He had said he wanted to try and change his flight again the next morning (taking advantage of over-bookings, so basically he's collecting free flights and staying in hotels on the airline's pocketbook...smart!) I waited with mucho anxiety for him to call me when he woke up in the morning, wondering if he would, or if it was a dream or if it was just him trying to get sex, failing, and being done with it. When I heard from him I rushed to the hotel. We hung out for like an hour before I had to drive him to the airport to see if he could change it for another night. We had this crazy hot makeout session in the elevator again...felt like a high schooler.
We got lost on the way, but listened to Tiesto and found we have the same favorite song -- Put Your Loving Arms Around Me...it was so sexy. We pulled up at the airport, wondering whether we would see eachother again. good byes are terrible...we had a beautiful and passionate make-out sesh with great tracks on the sound system...sweaty as heck because it was hot and my sun roof was open....he walked away from the car with his bag slung over his shoulder and it was just a beautiful moment. I burst into tears and drove in circles until I felt better. I drove back to my place through Brickell at lunchtime, seeing lawyers in suits and ties and blue shirts and wanted to scream that my life is going to become that (even though that is exaclty what I want). But experiences like this make me so scared that all my adventure is going to have to come to a halt.
I went home...failed miserably to focus on a paper that was due in a few hours...texted him "don't go" right before I knew his flight was taking off. He called to say he got it extended one more day....phew!!! Since I had to take a friend to the airport in a couple hours, I told him I would stop by then before going to the tennis match I had planned with a friend. Obviously part of me wanted to cancel the tennis, but I told myself I would not rearrange my life for this still largely random guy...he was super cool about it anyway, teasing me about having a date and understanding that my life is here.
I got lost trying to find his different hotel this time...drove in circles...finally found it literally 15 minutes before I had to be back at my house for tennis. I couldn't stand the thought of not running into see him, so i literally ran in, kissed him, told him I would call later, and rushed back to my house.
After the tennis match, i called him and went over to the Marriott. I was so happy to see him, and we had an amazing night talking about our lives and eachother and kissing passionately. It is so easy to talk to strangers about anything which makes it really easy to bond on these crazy deep levels. We talked about wanting to see eachother again, but were honest about how crappy the situation truly is. I stayed with him until about 5 in the morning...it was so incredibly hard to leave and we kissed until i thought my face would fall off... in the best way...
It was fun to set boundaries, and I know what's up with me and that. I explained to him that I want to know someone before getting into all that and all the different levels of understanding that need to come before it...at least for me at this place in my life. I think he was somewhat flabbergasted but awed by it...he kept saying he couldn't believe I was going to be a lawyer....green crayon, turqouise and silver. Amazing all the sweet nothings it is so easy to say to someone you just met.
The feelings I am having right now are so refreshing. I forgot that I could feel this way and how fun it is. obviously this is a precarious situation for my heart, which is largely why i held of the way that I did sexually. I don't want to fall into a random city booty call for him and had some sort of passion and attraction with him that I think is extremely rare and I did not want to destroy. The way he was looking at me cannot be faked and I think he felt the way I did. We live extremely different lives but whatever happens we shared this beautiful few days together and it renewed my faith in love and meeting people and my ability to have feelings and express them. Obviously this needs to translate to my real life but it is simultaneously a great time in my life to meet passionate people and learn about them and my self through them ...and help them learn about themselves.
I wrote a poem about/for him. don't know if i will ever have the courage to share it with him, although i would love to. i don't know where this is going or if it is, but i know i am welcoming for whatever is meant to happen. he tried to change his flight again today and i just keep telling meyself that if we should have seen eachother we would have...for some reason i was not supposed to see him today again, but i hope that i can soon. aye the passion of life can be so beautiful.
14 hours ago
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